Date: Fri, 13 Aug 2004 15:45:46 -0700 (PDT)

From: David Sprague <dsprague@cs.ubc.ca>

To: grads@cs.ubc.ca

Subject: Your choice. Pass out from beer or heat.

Well I hugged Imager lab's air conditioner today. Sure that might seem strange but it was more normal than my behavior before

coming into the lab: weeping and screaming at the sun to take it easy. So today, weather* you enjoyed the sunshine or you are

like me and have needed a cold beer since 11am today, Koerner's seems like the appropriate place to go. Heck, even the graphics

junkies that went to SIGGRAPH are back and could probably use a beer.

* Oh that's BAD. Snow fault of mine that some people appreciate puns.....I think I have heat stroke. :)

So in an attempt to get this email out asap ( I was late writing it since I needed to have a 3D head tracking demo ready to show

my supervisor) I will try and keep this short and sweet. Lets meet in front of CICSR at 5:00 (or for the pigmently challenged

like myself, just inside CICSR) and walk over from there. If I pass out along the way, Dima can carry me.

So in response to the demo I just presented (I stink at 3D graphics I found out. Damn useless math. :) ), I present this week's

list:

TOP TEN WORST DEMOS TO SHOW YOUR SUPERVISOR

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

10. "Check out the cool vacation plans I am making with your funding."

9. Demo's Title: Picking your nose without bleeding.

8. If your demo doesn't work, just get your application to print out "No

Speak English" to any user input.

7. If your demo doesn't work, kick the $10000 Fastrak until it starts

smoking. Try and get high off the fumes. Encourage your supervisor to

chill out and get high with you.

6. Try and fix an out of bounds error in your demo using duct tape. If

this comment doesn't seem to make sense, you just need to use more duct

tape.

5. Demo Title: Shiny Objects vs Boring Research

4. "Oh you wanted me to start working in the SUMMER? But check out this

rocking tan!"

3. ".....and if I jump and throw three fireballs I can beat level 5's

Bowser in under 5 seconds."

2. Hello my name is Steve and I want to demonstrate what I have been

"working on" this past month: my girlfriend.

1. Hide in the corner of your office pretending to be a fichus plant.

0. Make a fort out of the journal papers you were asked to read.

-1. You hope your supervisor doesn't notice that the Hello Kitty

poster you taped to your monitor is not in fact an example of your

rendering algorithm. If your supervisor asks about it, fake a seizure.

-2. Your application only displays one text message as output: "Suck it"