Date: Fri, 18 Feb 2005 15:26:59 -0800 (PST)

From: David Sprague <dsprague@cs.ubc.ca>

To: grads@cs.ubc.ca

Subject: You can't spell busy without "bus" and "Y". Y? Because you can't spell beer without "be" and "er". If Busy then take

the bus to be 'er at 5.

Hello everyone. We are getting down to the final beer calls from yours truly. At last count, I only have 2 beer calls after

this week. Therefore, if there are any suggestions or topics you want me to cover, suggest now. I have had some suggestions but

I wasn't able to make them work yet. However, that shouldn't stop you from making suggestions.

Last week at Koerner's was a great time with lots of beer discussions, a moderate amount of ass freezing (we sat outside almost

the entire time I was there), and some not-so-regular people showing up.... and remember. This was the start of reading week.

Tonight should have a nice solid showing. Most people should be back, frantically trying to do work to make it look like they

didn't take this past week off. If you are one of these frantic workers, why would you go out for beer tonight? Because it is

a Friday silly. Who works on a Friday night? Seriously. Have you looked outside? You plan on working on a day like today?

So lets all meet at 5 in front of CICSR and walk on over to Koerner's. You need a break some time. This break is at least a

departmentally endorsed one.

I could have written about a variety of things this week. I could have brought up the fact that tea may have ruined my chances

at getting into a Ph.D. (I can tell that story tonight). I could joke about the network being down in Imager this Wednesday.

However, this week's list was thought up, surprise surprise, when riding on the bus. I hope you enjoy it. I have tried to keep

the list fairly non-offensive for once. I probably didn't succeed but I tried.

TOP TEN GRAD STUDENT THOUGHTS WHEN BORED ON THE BUS!!

----------------------------------------------------

10. "Why is that drunken old guy undoing his belt.....oh no. No no

no!!"

9. "If this bus hits one more bump I am going to freak out and yell

at the bus driver"

*bumb*

"This time I mean it. One more bump and...."

*bump *

"Honestly, one more...."

8. "Why does this bus seat smell like cheese??

...Do I really want to know?"

7. "What does Penoffity mean anyways??"

6. "Where can I put that stupid footnote this week."*

5. "It is too bad I had to bust up his knees, but if you don't

pay the coffee club bill on time that's the consequence."

4. "That Greg Kempe sure is one hot piece of ass. Too bad he

pronounces the word bowl so weird."

3. "What the hell does mullion mean?"

2. <insert random Simpsons/Star Wars/Trek Quote here>

1. "She's right. God is watching up from a distance. Thank you

Bette Midler."

0. "Tomorrow in the lab I should try Up up down down left right left

right B A start" <graphics students only>

-1. "Ah crap. There's David. Maybe he won't notice me if I keep

perfectly still....."

-2. "Damn drunken undergrads yelling, puking and screaming on the

bus

......

no wait. That's Gao!"

-3. <song> "Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh

Oh, oh, oh, oh

Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh

The right stuff...."

-4. "Is gagging a crying baby against the law?"

-5. "DAMN. It is like a leper colony in here. I feel beautiful in

comparrison and I am wearing jogging pants right now."

-6. "Oh GOD. I just grabbed the pole and then rubbed my eye. Oh God,

I just...."

-7. "If I pretend I am reading, maybe that crazy guy with the tinfoil

hat will leave me alone

......

no wait. That's Gao!"

-8. "Ok. No sound. Maybe no one will notice. So far so good. Good.

GOOOD. No! Someone is sniffing. Crap. They caught me!

Wait. Maybe they will blame the old guy next to me. Yes. YES....."

* Here.

-- Snobby Beer Quote of the Week ----

"Not all chemicals are bad. Without chemicals such as hydrogen and oxygen, for example, there would be no way to make water, a

vital ingredient in beer."

-Dave Barry

David "The bus reminds me of a slow moving toilet" Sprague