Date: Fri, 27 Aug 2004 14:44:24 -0700 (PDT)

From: David Sprague <dsprague@cs.ubc.ca>

To: grads-conf@cs.ubc.ca

Subject: Another goodbye toast.

Hello all. This Friday's Koerner's run may be the last opportunity for many of the departing grads to practice this Friday

afternoon ritual. For example, our resident post-doc from France wishes to invite us all to Koerner's to celebrate his new

position at Waterloo. He also wants to (and I quote) "make a discourse on the beauty of British Columbia and

drown his sadness at leaving it" * So lets head out to the pub at 5pm today (in the front of CICSR) and give a toast to our

departing friends and hope the next batch of grads will be as easy to get along with. For all of you who I do not see before

you leave, I wish you all the best of luck (unless you are in my field of research in which case I wish you luck up to the point

that you don't make me look stupid. :) ).

* "And offer some beer around....hopefully still in a mug."

So to acknowledge the departing students I present this week's top ten:

TOP TEN RITUALS FOR DEPARTING STUDENTS

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10. Unplug all bullpen monitors. See how long it takes the new grads to figure out the problem.

9. Wedgie everyone whose name starts with S.

9. b) See how fast you can run and/or pray after getting Steve Wilson.

8. Crush your empty pop cans and fashion a submarine out of them.

7. Hot box your office. When people complain about the smoke coming out

from under your door, remind them you are going to Amsterdam and need

the practice. If you are not Chris, say that your death box 3000 is

smoking.

6. Write "How's THIS for Big-O notation" on your butt. Moon Will Evans.

5. Finally admit that your thesis is completely useless and that you just

wanted an excuse not to work in the real world.

4. See how far you can shoot beer out your nose.

3. Give out free beer. Insist on dispensing it mouth to mouth.

2. Cut your ponytail and your beard. Knit a computer cozy out of the hair.

1. Steal all the F and S keys on every keyboard in your lab. When

_tudent go to write an email to complain, they won't be able to _ucking _ay _hit.

0. Send an email to each student in the department asking them to move

into CICSR room 500. Laugh maniacally. (Dima only)

-1. Buy non-alcoholic beer. Laugh maniacally.

-2. Find the library's copy of your thesis. Using a red crayon replace

every occurrence of the word "computer" with "death box 3000".

David "SOOOO far from graduation" Sprague