Date: Fri, 16 Jul 2004 14:51:57 -0700 (PDT)

From: David Sprague <dsprague@cs.ubc.ca>

To: grads@cs.ubc.ca

Subject: Beer, BBQ, and Bad Vision

Hello once again everyone. It is your friendly (questionable) neighborhood (very questionable considering how spread out we

are) blind as a bat beer czar. Notice I am not questioning the blind thing? As it turns out, for the past 3-4 months my

glasses have been wrong. I had my eyesight checked again to find out why I was getting headaches and the prescription I was

given was correct. However when they looked at the glasses, the left lens had the reverse orientation than what I needed. This

should explain the headaches, my mark in CPSC 500, and the strange looks I was getting from you guys when voicing my

appreciation for particular members of the opposite sex. Heck, while I'm at it, lets try and blame my tactlessness and my not

so stellar dental check up on the glasses as well.

So you are probably thinking "oh great a top ten about David's glasses" but you would be wrong.* Instead I have other news: I

will not be walking over to Koerner's at 5:00pm today. "Gasp" and "shocking" you say. This afternoon is the Imager lab

(annual?) BBQ. I will try and swing by the pub asap, but if people want to give me free food, how can I say no. People should

still meet in front of CICSR at 5:00pm (heck you did last week and I didn't even get the call to the correct email address until

5:05) to walk over. If I don't arrive at Koerner's by 7:30, send someone looking for me. Without my glasses I might be trying

to order a pitcher in the main library.

*I didn't have time to write a new list. I might bug you with it next week.

So on the topic of me missing the walk over, here is this week's list. I can't guarantee they are good but there are a lot of

them. :)

TOP TEN THINGS OVERHEARD AT THE IMAGER LAB BEACH BBQ

------------------------------------------------------

10. "If we analyzed your burger flipping pattern we could improve your efficiency by 25%."

9. "I got a great new idea for a child oriented interface device. The eSandbox. Its just like playing in a sandbox, except the

computer can tell you where you are.....and the user will be electrocuted if the eSand comes in contact with water or urine."

8. "When looking for buried treasure chi marks the spot."

7. ".....and that's why all the other labs stink."

6. "Excuse me. Too much pop. I have to go produce a P value."

5. "Hey wanna toss around the football? Go Phong!!"

4. "I wouldn't feel so bad David. I think the BBQ's user interface was horribly designed with only two analog controls.... and

your eyebrows will grow back soon."

3. "Uugggh. Something smells like rotting fish.... and we are only on the corner of Broadway and Alma"

2. "Man that 3D stereoscopic beach simulation you brought along sure is cool"

1. "I just want my burger. Stop trying to make it look pretty."

0. "How does the design of this coleslaw make you feel?"

-1. "Stop doing a Penoff. Put your clothes back on."

-2. "I can't believe you did a sand sculpture of Clippy the Microsoft Office paper clip."

-3. "Yeah it's just like doing your Master's degree in psych but you get a CS degree in the end."

-4. "Yes, I know your hand symbol indicates the up direction for the camera..... Yes I realize that symbol can be a vector

indicating the direction of movement you wish me to perform..... But please, just please stop giving me the finger and let me

take the picture."

-5. "Hey, you're talking about SPQR-trees. That sounds like theory.

GET EM !!!"

David "No glasses and likely no eyebrows" Sprague

"I have very poor and unhappy brains for drinking"

Shakespeare -- Othello