Date: Fri, 21 May 2004 14:53:12 -0700 (PDT)

From: David Sprague <dsprague@cs.ubc.ca>

To: grads@cs.ubc.ca

Subject: HCI, crazies and the liquid cure.

Hello all. David again. I am in the midst of an HCI experiment (thanks

again to all you wonderful people who have helped me out) and thus the

call to Koerner's will be at 5pm today (when my last subject ends). So I

am in the middle of my experiment running now so hopefully this will be

short and sweet *

* who am I kidding. THis will be long and....bitter? But I am trying

anyways.

So come on out to meet me in the front of CICSR at 5. No BBQ today but

still lots of beer. Beer will also take your mind off of all the research

you are (presumably) doing. :)

And now to get back to the subject of Koerner's Pub....

TOP TEN WAYS YOU KNOW YOUR KOERNER'S SERVER HAS GONE INSANE!!

-----------------------------------------------------------

10. They ask " Do you want a pitcher or will you carry the beer in

your pockets."

9. She keeps grabbing drunk customers by the hair and trying to user

their heads as a tap.

8. He/she is wearing overalls....that's a sign of insanity for anyone.

7. He tries to tap the keg for over twenty minutes before he realizes it

is actually a garbage can.

6. Every time you ask for a pitcher of beer she breaks out a camera.

5. You order a rum and coke. She puts three shots of vodka in a glass,

shoots them back and gives you a glass of water.

4. She stumbles from the back exhausted complaining about how hard it is

to make pretzels and how difficult it is to live up the Rolled Gold's

standards.

3. She describes herself as "The commander of the De Alwis.

2. ....she is not Brian's girlfriend.

1. When you order a pitcher they ask if you need glasses, "or can you see

the beer just fine."

0. He puts on a pair of water wings, opens all the taps and makes a beer

pool behind the bar.

-1 Three words: Processes Cheese Origami

-2. She inverts all the chairs and stools in the bar, nails them to the

floor and demands that people sit normally.

-3. The form of ID accepted is a Safeway card. They draw a stick figure

on the front as your picture.

-4. You leave a tip on the bar. When you walk away you hear a loud

exclaimation " The currency gnomes have struck again!!"

David "shouldn't make fun of taller guys" Sprague