Date: Thu, 9 Sep 2004 12:15:59 -0700 (PDT)

From: David Sprague <dsprague@cs.ubc.ca>

To: grads@cs.ubc.ca

Subject: Traditions and Trad.

Hello all and hello new grads. This is the first official Koerner's call for the new grads so I should either a) make it a good

one to ensure a solid turn out for weeks to come or b) do a half ass job to ensure you newbies don't steal my beer. So perhaps

an explanation is in order for those of you that don't know what I am talking about. Every Friday (but for this week only we

are doing it on Thursday) the grads in CS meet in front of CICSR and walk over to Koerner's Pub (the grad pub) for an end of the

week beer or two. It is normally kept fairly/VERY informal. Since the beer czar wishes to entertain you every week*, the

tradition is for the beer czar to remind everyone about Koerner's and write something original that people presumably will enjoy

reading. Previous czars have written short stories or poems and haikus. I write top "ten" lists. So I would like to invite

everyone to come out to Koerner's tonight** whether you drink beer, strange drinks like rum and coke, or water, and experience

one of the more social activities of the department. I can't guarantee how fun any given night will be, however I can say that

some of my favorite CS experiences have involved Koerner's.

* Or the beer czar assumes you are all stupid and can't remember what you did last week. :)

** I also invite you all to not criticize my spelling and grammar. I'm in grad school. I don't need to know nothing about

english

So lets all meet in the front of CICSR at 5pm today and walk over to Koerner's as a group. You will be supplied/have already

been supplied with tickets for free burgers so bring them along and I hope you all have a great time.

I guess that while I have your attention, I should also mention the big Koerner's tradition/rules in this email and reiterate it

later tonight. Normally, in an attempt to save money, we buy pitchers of beer and share them as a group. When you feel that you

have drunk a pitcher's worth, you buy the next pitcher. It's that easy. So on that note here are a few more traditions to keep

in mind (hold on folks. It is a -6 day!!):

TOP TEN LESSER KNOWN KOERNER'S RITUALS / TRADITIONS!!!

----------------------------------------------------

10. The Beer Czar must ask all good looking female grads out for coffee..... honest.....*cough*

9. On the walk over, the beer czar gets a piggy back to save his

strength.

8. Hourly wedgies for anyone named Tibi.....we haven't had a chance to

try this ritual before. I'm kind of excited.

7. The Great CS Pitcher Backwash Tradition.

6. We must talk about either beer, coffee, dating, or computer science.

There will be no exceptions to this rule.

4. Whenever anyone is upset and cries at the bar, we will laugh.

3. If someone asks for a Molson or Labatt's product, the beer czar is

obligated to stab him/her.....repeatedly....with a fork.

2. All HCI students must defend their research choice and claim that it is a useful part of CS when theory people bad mouth it. HCI students are also obligated to hit said theory people with a chair when their backs are turned.

1. New grads buy the beer.

0. Every time someone says the word "table" we all strip naked.

-1. Anyone who buys an alcoholic drink other than beer gets hit with a

chair.

-2. If you can be such a pain in the ass that you make the Koerner's

staff cry, you win!!

-3. If you buy a pint for yourself, Dima will ask you to share a pitcher

with 4 other grads so he can give your pint to a new prof. You are not

allowed to share pitchers with both lab mates and office mates.

-4. Two words: Beer Enemas

-5. If you show up after 5pm, we will change your name to Tibi. See #8.

-6. A ritual something like pin the tail on the donkey....except there is

no blindfold.....and instead of pinning a tail on a picture, it involves

grabbing ass.

David "Picking on new grads I don't know already" Sprague