Date: Tue, 13 Sep 2005 09:34:05 -0700 (PDT)

From: David Sprague <dsprague@cs.ubc.ca>

To: dept@cs.ubc.ca

Subject: Temporary Tuesday Tea Traditions....

Hello everyone. This is David Sprague, the guy that cried profusely during last week's BBQ. I have been asked by Mark to cover

his Tuesday Tea czary/meistery duties while he is away today.

For those of you unaware of this event, every Tuesday afternoon people get together to relax, unwind, drink tea and/or coffee,

and socialize. Tuesday tea is an event for ALL faculty, staff, and grads and Mark and I would love to see a nice healthy mix of

each show up this week and every week. Therefore, in hopes of encouraging administrative staff to come, I promise that no

conversations with a grad will be tech /computer related.* Furthermore, I would like to encourage faculty members to attend. I

know that taking a break with your students may not be the most carefree experience in the world. Therefore, I encourage grads

to be on their best behavior and not pester faculty members attempting to find more work to do.

* Provided that grad is Vance Lockton.

This week's treat is being brought by yours truly. It is a traditional Newfoundland blueberry cake and it will likely be lethal

to any diabetics in the department.....even if they just smell it. The Newfoundland recipe credo: "Sugar is a spice. More

sugar is a different spice." I have reduced the recipe's sugar somewhat but rest assured, this cake is still very bad for

you.... and hopefully very tasty. Of course, if you don't want cake, please come anyways. There is always coffee and tea and I

think everyone could use a break to clear their heads at the end of the day. So bring a mug and a plate and meet at 4:15 in the

7th floor lounge.

Also, please remember to sign up for bringing treats to tea. Fruit, baked goods, store-bought cookies or even homemade "show

off" dishes are perfectly acceptable. Just sign up in one of the lounges or visit the wiki:

https://bugs.cs.ubc.ca/cgi-bin/twiki/view/Grads/TuesdayTea .

So, for the grads in the department that have been here for at least a year, you all know how my traditional "call to arms"

emails go:

1) They are very long,

2) They have a top ten with more than 10 items and

3) Usually, at least one person is offended by now.

Well, I am trying to avoid #3 and I have already accomplished #1, so I hope everyone enjoys my first (and only) Tuesday Tea top

ten. Lets see if I can say something remotely funny while avoiding #3:

Top Ten Reasons People Should Come to Tuesday Tea!!

-------------------------------------------------------------------------

10. You can spend the time placing bets on how many of the new grads

will graduate before some of the 2nd & 3rd year Master's students

do.

9. Find out all the new buzz words going round in the department.

For example, "Sprague-ing" a demo seems quite popular after last

week for some reason. You can also say things like "Dude. Throw

it out. That hamburger is completely Spragued!"

8. Fondly recall last week's exciting fire alarm adventure with

people who enjoyed it as much as you did.

7. Faculty: Take some cake and hide behind the fichus plant. Listen

in on conversations and find out how much work your students have ACTUALLY been doing.

6. Tech Staff / Help Desk Employees:

A grad may start a conversation with you that does not contain

the words "broken", "fried", "fire", "pile", "of", "junk",

"dropped", "kicked" or a healthy assortment of profanity.

5. Administrative Staff: Do you want to yell at a grad student for

dumping paperwork on you? We are all in one place. Pick a target

and have fun.

4. Did you know we have a coffee machine in the seventh floor lounge?

It seems neither does anyone else. If enough people come this

week, we may even try using it.... I just wouldn't trust the milk

in the fridge.

3. As a group we can try to figure out what the heck caused that

campfire smell yesterday. You can also find out if anyone else

bought marshmallows during their lunch break "just in case".

2. I am bringing a traditional Newfoundland dish. Discover why

Newfoundland has such a high emigration rate.

1. That strange smell usually associated with Tuesday Tea will no

longer be present. On a completely unrelated note, Mark the

teameister is unfortunately unable to make it this week.

0. For Help Desk Employees: Find that grad that kept pestering you

about his broken computer until he realized he was unplugging his

mouse with his foot. Smack him up side the head.

-1. Grads: Take a break from your work, have some free food and

talk about how little work you did on your thesis this week. If

Clint the Coffee Czar comes looking for his money you can always

run and hide behind the plants.

....When you come face to face with your supervisor behind a

fichus, hope he/she doesn't recognize you. Wear a fake mustache

to the lounge just in case.

-2. Do you find it entertaining to see a grown man cry? Ask me about

my thesis.

-3. Tuesday tea is great for motivation. After a 40-minute

conversation about compiler design, you will be itching to get

back to work.

David "Teaporary Teameister" Sprague