Date:
Fri, 8 Oct 2004 14:46:38 -0700 (PDT)
From:
David Sprague <dsprague@cs.ubc.ca>
To:
grads-conf@cs.ubc.ca
Subject:
A pilgrimage for beer.
Hello
all, and happy Thanksgiving. I hope you
have a great holiday, whether you are with your family, hanging out with
friends,
or
studying insanely so you can pass your midterms and projects. Koerner's should be fairly laid back
tonight since so many
students
are likely going home for the weekend.
This, of course, means shorter lines.
It may also mean that less people from
CS
show up but lets pretend that this will not be the case. Lets meet at our usual time of 5 (inside
CICSR at the front
entrance
due to the rain) and walk over. Lets
hope Warren brings his colossal umbrella as well so we will all stay dry.
For
those that are not easily offended, my grand holiday pick up line tradition
will continue this week with Thanksgiving
Pick-up
lines. Anyone who is interested in
receiving this email, please email me and I will send it to you (some of you
will
get
no matter if you want it or not, so wait about a half hour before you request
the email).
Since
this is Thanksgiving weekend for us Canadians (American grads may be initially
confused by this.... and how we pronounce
the
letter z ), it is a time to gather with friends, family, and loved ones and
give thanks for what we have*. So on
THAT note,
here
is a top ten about what I want to bitch and complain about. Enjoy.
*
and dredge up all the horrible things you can say about them that you have
gathered over the past year. It is just
not
Thanksgiving
without my sisters screaming at each other.
TOP
TEN THANKSGIVING PET PEEVES
-----------------------------------------------------------------
10. American Thanksgiving involves football or
shopping. Canadian Thanksgiving:
curling and trips to the proctologist/gynecologist
9. For five years your mom has been trying to
combine Christmas and Thanksgiving. You
will probably have to try her Turkeynog
again
this year ("I added a bit more gravy and sugar to see if that
helps").
8. Brad keeps calling this holiday the
"fake" Thanksgiving.
7. Two weeks after the holiday and countless
sandwiches later, you are now starting to try and make Turkey ice cream to get
rid of that damn bird.
6. You mom tries to pawn off a baked apple for
dessert to make the meal healthier....and she keeps insisting that you don't drink
straight from the gravy boat.
5. Because your mom makes less stuffing every
year, you have to keep killing off relatives to ensure you get some. You are almost doing in immediate family....
and that's just wrong.
4.
Two words: Turkey Farts.
3. It may be an east coaster thing, but I still
don't see why so many Vancouverites have their Thanksgiving dinner half way up
the
Chief. Can't you guys EVER sit down and
relax?
2. Thanksgiving dinner just doesn't feel right
when the word Michalina's
is
written on the side of your "plate".
1. Your aunt Mary drinks so much that every
time she exhales, the candles flames grow higher. That wouldn't be so bad, but at
that
stage her lack of bladder control really takes you out of the Thanksgiving
mood.
0. Every time your uncle Ken decides to
"stuff the bird"... if you know what I mean.
-1. Your family still makes you sit at the
kiddie table.....and there are no kids over for dinner.....and the kiddie table
this
year
looks remarkably like the dog house.....
This
week's Snobby Beer Quote (SBQ)
"Beer
is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy."
--
Benjamin Franklin
David "Flatulence is Funny" Sprague