Date: Fri, 4 Jun 2004 13:40:19 -0700 (PDT)

From: David Sprague <dsprague@cs.ubc.ca>

To: grads@cs.ubc.ca

Subject: Worst beer call ever...

Hello all. As mentioned last week, I was hoping to try a collaborative

Top Ten list. Well there wasn't that much collaboration but for all of

those that did help, hold your head up high*.

* unless people don't think your suggestions are funny. Then hang your

heads in shame. :)

Anyway things are shaping up to be quite nice outside, and what better way

to procrastinate on research then by coming out to Koerner's. I will be

in the CICSR atrium at 5 ready to head on down. If the Micheline's office

crew could let me know when they wanted to head down, that would be great.

I say we end of the evening by trying to take apart and move the Atrium

puzzle sculpture that needs to be moved in a week or so. We will arrive

at school Monday and wonder why there are blue poles sticking out of

hedges and why Micheline's office doorway is blocked off by a pole with

the words "limbo" written on it. Hmmm. That COULD be a collaborative top

ten list:

TOP TEN USES FOR THE ATRIUM SCUPTURE

Just an idea if any of your have suggestions.

Anyway onto this week's list. For those of you that thought last week's

list was not up to the usual standard (and I admit, it wasn't) Koerner

calls could be much worse:

TOP TEN WORST CALL TO KOERNER'S LETTERS

---------------------------------------------------------

10. Pay money to see they people you regularly see.

9. Deadline Scheadline. Come grab a beer before your funding is cut.

8. I am only spitting into every SECOND pitcher this week. Come on out

to Koerner's.

7. Come to Koerner's. Anyways, let me tell you about this weird

rash I have that itches.....

6. Jump in your car and come to Koerner's. It will be easier to get home

that way than taking the bus.

5. Grads don't let another grad drink alone.

(Brian De Alwis)

4. ....yes they do if they don't buy the czar a drink.

(David Sprague)

3. Last week we sang Irish drinking songs. This week: Yodelling

(Dustin Lang)

2. David's Top Ten Penoff Jokes.....

1. I will give a free linear algebra equation to everyone who shows up.

0. I will give a free lap dance to everyone who shows up.

-1. Bere good. Work bad. Mee lik bere.

-2. I've been drinking since 10. Come to Koerner's so I don't feel like

an alcoholic.

-3. Wanna see a drunken east coaster? Come to Koerner's

-4. Come worship your Beer Czar like a god.

-5. If you don't show up for beer I won't give back all the toilet paper

in the department.

-6. .....Dima. I dare you to pick a fight with the BBQ staff.....

-7. I am going to try and pick up tonight. You better hope it's not YOU.

Helloooooooo Nurse.

-8. Come to Koerner's. Your mom.

(Brad Penoff)

David "momma jokes are funny" Sprague