Date: Fri, 16 Apr 2004 14:07:14 -0700 (PDT)

From: David Sprague <dsprague@cs.ubc.ca>

To: grads@cs.ubc.ca

Subject: Pint sized insanity....

Hello all, David again. For many people such as myself, today

is known as a "dash to the finish line" day for course projects and exams.

For those of you going to CHI, it is a "pre-conference panic" day. For

others, it known as a "Friday" <insert curse words and insults here>. No

matter what your circumstances, however, it is the end of the week and

thus a time for (slight) relaxation. Please join this rag-tag band of

upper year grad students and first year procrastinators for a beer and a

slight reprieve from the crunch-time insanity. Lets remember, however,

that calling your course prof up to tell him/her how much their course

sucks is not appropriate, even when intoxicated. Thus to prevent this

from occurring I will be more than happy to take all your money and cell

phones before the evening starts.* So please meet me at the front of

CICSR at 5:00 today for a quick breather just before the end of term (or for

some people, to celebrate the end of term.... <insert more curse words

here> ).

* I know this is unlikely to work but at this time of year, I figure my

chances are the best.

TOP TEN SIGNS YOU ARE BURNED OUT FROM PROJECTS & EXAMS

10. You draw up design diagrams on an etch-a-sketch

9. You refer to your final exam as a "core dump".

8 You put out cheese to catch your optical mouse.

7. You are so hyped up on coffee, you haven't blinked in 2 days.

6. "Wow!! Clippie the Microsoft paperclip is really useful."

5. You begin thinking "Ziggy" is the pinnacle of comedy.

4. You try and bribe Mark the coffee czar to see if you can get

deliveries to your bullpen.

3. You write half your program before realizing your computer wasn't

turned on.

2. You write the other half of the program before your realize, it's not a

computer, it's a "speak & spell".

1. You start addressing yourself as the "Dread Pirate Penoff" and demand

everyone pay you a rich booty of tic tacs and old pizza.

0. The severed heads of 3 undergrads who asked you TA questions adorn the

front of your office.

-1. You replace your highlighter with a can of yellow paint and a brush.

-2. Your friends pull your chair from under you and your body doesn't

move.

-3. You light undergrad assignments on fire to roast marshmallows over.

-4. They start renovating your bullpen with you still in the room. You

don't notice.

See you tonight.

David "Beer good, projects bad, fire pretty, marshmallows yummy" Sprague