One Day Ahead (of the Students)

[Prof:] Gotta keep
One day ahead of the students
One slide ahead, no more
Oh good!  Something that I've taught before!
Ten years ago.

[Prof:] One hair ahead of the goatees
One page ahead in the book
Spew out an hour more o' gobbledy-gook

[Students:] Comment! Question?  [Prof:] Hand-waved evasion
Let's not delve too deeply
[Students:] You don't have a thing to teach me
[Prof:] I can take a hint, gotta get some facts
Maybe I should ask Jeeves, too.
[Students:] Who?

[Students:] I can't wait for course evaluations
He deserves a solid row of ones
How'd you get in higher education?
[Prof:] I gotta Ph.D., I taught a course or three
How much does it take to teach 101?

[Prof:] One quiz ahead of the quislings
One point ahead of the curve
Get by on sheer unmitigated nerve

[Prof:] Term One: teach quantum mechanics
Term Two: teach comparative lit
Sometimes I can't even spell this... stuff!

[Students:]  Heartless!  Hoser!  Mumbler!  Poser!
[Prof:] Now I'm spouting nonsense
[Students:] How'd you get in front of students?
[Prof:] I gotta Ph.D. [Students:] They teach you how to teach?
[Prof:] Actually they taught like me.
[Students:] Yeesh!

[Prof:] One line ahead of the front row
[Students:] (Hoser) 
[Prof:] Two lines ahead of the back
[Students:] (Mumbler)
[Prof:] Three days behind the keeners
[Students:] (Comment)
[Prof:] I think they're getting meaner
[Students]: (Question)
Thank God!  The year is almost ended
Summer will be splendid
All I gotta do is bluff

Footnotes

1. 50 minutes + 10 minute class break
2. Reginald Jeeves, graduate TA for lo these many years
3. "Keener" is a lovely Canadian term referring to the students who are sitting in the front row of your classroom right now doing hand-raising exercises while they wait for class to start.